Just Do It

NOTE: This column discusses lyrics in modern music and was deemed "unprintable" by my local newspaper. I hope readers find it educational to consider how an article like this would be considered too "vulgar" to print, and yet these songs are played on the radio every day.

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Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's fall in love. Yeah, well falling in love wasn't really what Cole Porter was talking about, was it? For several generations, lyrics to popular songs have expressed "doing it" in most every way possibly imagined. Perhaps it was the Beatles who removed any last doubt with their explicit (albeit rather bizarre) request - Why don't we do it in the road?

Oddly enough though, it didn't seem all that dirty back then. Risque perhaps, but not dirty. In the 50's, parents were shocked and young girls thrilled at the antics of Elvis "The Pelvis" Presley. His gyrations prompted many a father to change the channel, much to the dismay of his daughter (and probably his wife.)

But the lyrics of songs today are increasingly outright pornographic. Man, if only my father were alive. To hear me complain about the music kids listen to? It's just as well that he's dead. He'd have a heart attack from dancing in joy to hear me talk like this.

Seriously, as much as I like calculus, there has to be a limit on limits. Many lyrics in top-ten songs these days can't even be printed in the newspaper. I'm not really sure how explicit I can get in my column without having it censored, but hey, let's give it a try and see. Just remember, these lyrics are verbatim from songs that your twelve-year old daughter listens to.

For example, consider Rihanna's hit song "Rude". How appropriate of a title. Its lyrics include: "Come on rude boy! Is you big enough? Take it! Take it! Tonight I'mma let you do your thing. I'mma let you be a rider. Giddy up! Giddy up, babe!"

Another top hit on the pop chart is "California Gurls" by Katy Perry. "I know a place where the grass is really greener. Warm, wet and wild. Laying underneath the palm trees. The boys break their necks try'na to creep a little sneak peek."

No innuendos there, huh? Even my 8th grade niece understands that one.

Let's not forget the Queen of Vile, Lady "Gag Gag". A couple lines from Bad Romance - "I want your psycho, your vertigo stick. Want you in my rear window."

Then there's Eminem. I won't even bother trying to write out his lyrics. The print machines at the newspaper office would have a melt down.

And finally, let's try a few lyrics from Ciara and Ludacris's hit, "Ride". Uh, the title kind of gives it away, doesn't it? I won't bother grossing you out with the explicit lyrics. How about a quick sampling of words from the song? Big - hard - ride - rollercoaster - scream - thoroughbred - again - again - again - touchdown - score!

Whatever happened to nice clean music that actually sounds good? Aside from the outright vulgarity, many of these songs are simply bad. I mean, they're just not good music.

And why is it acceptable to play this sewage on the radio? If I listed out the explicit lyrics in many of these songs, they couldn't print it. If you were to sing one of these songs while walking around Ashley Pond, you could get arrested for public indecency. And yet these are the words sung out proudly (and for lots of money) by the role models for our children. These are the songs that fill the iPods in the Middle School playground.

The lyrics for "I've got a feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas pretty much sums up the mentality of modern day music. And yes, this is verbatim - "Let's Do it. Let's Do it. Let's Do it. Let's Do it. And do it. And do it. Let's live it up. And do it. And do it. And do it do it do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it."

But let's allow Cole Porter to have the last word here. "Cold Cape Cod clams, 'gainst their wish, do it. Even lazy jellyfish do it. Let's do it, let's fall in love."